Self Healing

It’s 6:50am. The first time I slept all the to 7 since we broke up..first time in two months, first time since January 17th.

I woke up missing you today, maybe because in my dreams I saw you again. I saw and felt you, we were intimate again, the way you touch me and the way you looked at me, it felt electric. I missed you.. really.. and maybe that’s just me reminiscing the loss once it’s gone. I kept reminding myself that you chose to leave. While you left intact, whole, I am here left with the pieces you left behind, the broken shards that I am desperate trying to put back together, the void in my heart, the void knowing when I woke up this morning there won’t be any good morning texts from you, there won’t be any voice messages or videos from you.

Silence is so loud. 

I can’t help but wonder if you are happier without me, that right now you are talking to another, flirting courting her like you had with me, passion so intense I believed reserved for me. I’m jealous of that girl, that girl that is enough to make you stay, enough to make you try, but not for me.. I wasn’t enough. Not worthy nor deserving.

Please stay in my dreams a little longer.. let me bask in the glow of our memories before my heart catch up to my mind.