Self Healing

Sometimes it’s the shortest connections that leaves the deepest impact. When there was still hope and full of potential.

Maybe that could explain why I am still grieving  for someone that’s still alive. I grieved for our future you portrayed. The future planning that never ends, I grieved for the version of myself you brought out of me. 

The version of myself that left with you when you discarded me. I keep replaying it, over and over trying to fill in the missing blanks.

Was it something small? Something serious?something that would have changed everything? Or nothing at all?

The chapters of our book left unfinished, abruptly ended before it even began. It’s hard to turn the page when you know someone won’t be in the next chapter. You remember those? Stories and fantasies we wrote to each other, time was what you reassured me we have. That our connection was euphoric, unusual and rare.  You encouraged me to be myself, to explore my desires, to pursue my passions. You unlocked something within me that I had long forgotten. And just when I had her, you left. 

It hurts me the most knowing that I am blossoming without you, without the person who inspires me, that you will never bear witness to my potential. 

So I guess we’re strangers again, but with memories. I look at the moon sometimes, wishing things had unfolded differently.

Wishing we had more time..

Wishing we had never met…the unknown is not so  bad when knowing cause such immense pain, breaking my own heart expecting you to be attached to me as I am to you.